Literally. With blogging, in any case.
I’ve had enough. I’m sick of it all. I’m bored of it all. It’s shit.
I’m sick of not being able to say what I want to say, for fear of upsetting the apple cart.
I’m bored of people telling me how to write my blog, what to say and how to say it correctly.
I’ve had enough of being told “there are no rules to blogging”, only to have a list of caveats in the very same breath.
I’m bored of the bullying. There is so much bullying. SO MUCH. And I don’t understand it. WHY.
I’m done with feeling like I have to be a competitor with every single post I write.
I am sick to death of the backstabbing, bitching, biting and childishness that seems to come with this.
I have finally reached the point where I am too exhausted to just keep my head down and repeat my mantra: This is me. This is my blog. If you do not like it, do not read it.
The same can be said for twitter. All this “please follow me because I’m following you” bollocks. The crap that is “so and so unfollowed me on my blog, now I’m gonna go unfollow them and block them from my blog too, just for good measure. And also, so I can bitch about them.”
I don’t know how to handle shit like this. I’m not built for shit like this. It’s not who I am. I’ve held on to my mantra from day one. I’ve tried not to beg people to read my blog unless it’s one post that really matters to me. I don’t seek attention unless I’m constantly shoving the info in your face. Though many wouldn’t believe it because quite frankly, the cynicism out there is fucking rife, I link my blog around because with some of the things I write, I only hope I can help someone else out there who might be struggling with the same shit as me.
So for those out there hell-bent on taking mahoosive dumps on those who they think are lesser people? To those who disagree with what I have to say in MY OWN personal space? To those enjoy the satisfaction in the self-appointed role of being Judge-Holier-Than-Thee?
Congratulations. Your absolute shittiness and disgusting attitude is doing a great job.
Shame, really. Because the repercussions are probably more than you would ever fucking know, and you probably don’t give a shit.
Love your blog, think you're a very talented photographer, wish you weren't feeling so pinned down. Really hope this is au revoir rather than goodbye. There are lots of wonderful bloggers and funny twitterers out there, you among them, and you'd be much missed.
People are cunts, aren't they. Am I allowed to write cunt on your blog?
Feel free to edit! This is the very reason I don't do the whole blogging 'c'munity' thang. Too many bullying nutcases. I hope you're okay.
Oh honey. Ne te confundant illegitimi. Maybe just a break will do you good; you've done so much with this blog and the blognonymous stuff, that you should feel really proud.
Ultimately, it's your decision, but I for one would miss you. I don't always comment on your posts but I'm sure there are many of us that love what you do, however you do it. There is room for all of us in the blogosphere.
I'm so sorry to read this. I hope whoever's upset you reads this and feels utterly, utterly ashamed of themselves. x
Yeah that.
I really hope you maintain some kind of online presence because otherwise an awful lot of us will be missing you! I do hear you loud and clear on much of what you say – and heaven knows I’ve left months and months between posts sometimes. And individual online communities can be breathtaking in their fuckwittery. I’ve done that too.
But I also hope and sense that there’s a larger thing at hand, some sense in which the Internet has brought us together as a race, a species, rather than just as nations, neighbours or nobodies. And that’s the communion that allowed me to meet you, and I’m so glad it did. And I’d hate to think the people problems might stop me knowing you. Because frankly, you rock, girl.
Peace out.
Ross
I'm so sorry. I wish you could just be who you are and not care about all the others and the crap that complicates things, but I'm a thin-skinned creature, so I can only imagine how you must be feeling. For what it's worth, I love a genuine voice.
Why are you letting people who are mean to you and trying to tell you what to do on your blog into your space and life? Why let them have that much affect on you.
If you want to blog for yourself, then I think you should continue to do it. If it does not bring you pleasure then don't and not because others are saying mean things.
Thank goodness things like this just whiz over my head-maybe I am just naive. I don't know.
You have a lot of talents Jay, i am sure whatever you decide to do will be the right path for you.
Hugs.
I've been on holiday this week so I've missed whatever has been going on, but I totally understand why you have written this because there is ALWAYS something going on. And it's crap. And I'm so sorry that it has made you feel like this. xx
I wish we could meet. I really do.
Sending huge (((hugs))).
Don't let the fuckers get you down.
xxxxxxxxxx
Jay. You are way WAY better than the people who set themselves up as the blogging hierarchy. WAY better.
You have a big heart and your actions are to help others. You know that and you shouldn't let what a handful say ever make you forget that.
I have experienced the divisive and down right mean spirited nature of someone out to hurt. I've also seen my friends kicked to the curb through this sort of behaviour and I HATE it. It's unacceptable and upsetting, but in any community there will be a minority who want to 'be in charge' and tell us all what to do. That's life.
The best thing to do is stay well away; pretend they're not there; live your life, write your blog. They are not important and only flourish when others allow them to.
I love blogging. I love twitter. There are lots and lots of fabulous, genuine people on there who make me smile on a regular basis.
No one is better than anyone else, I don't care what any chart or statistic says. All blogs are different, that's the point; that's why we all read them so avidly. There is no 'one size fits all' and I say hooray to that.
I read blogs that have been around for years. I read blogs which have been around for weeks. No one is going to tell me what's worthy of reading. And no one is going to tell me what I can and can't tweet. I read reams of tweets about Big Brother and X Factor and all sorts of things which are guff to me; you don't hear me complaining. I just ignore until it passes. And it always does.
So if you feel you haven't the strength to say your mantra any more I'll do it for you. I'll SHOUT it for you: This is Jay. This is her blog. If you do not like it, do not read it.
I feel better now!
Oh and is one of the tags on this post 'assvice'? Snigger
Just hugs.
What is going on? I keep hearing about bullying and I hate it when people, decent people, feel they can no longer write a blog because of it. WTF? I miss a lot of the bullying a) because I'm a bit slow; b) because I keep my head down; and c) because I don't tend to take any notice of it.
I'm so sorry you feel like this. Take a break. Get your head clear. But don't let the bastards grind you down, otherwise they have won. Take care x
Well, I don't think I can really say much after Tara's awesome comment! But just wanted to say that if you do totally give up blogging I will miss your writing loads.
I'm not quite sure what's been going on lately in the blogging community but I'm reading more and more posts about people becoming disillusioned with blogging because of bullying and backstabbing. It's such a shame, especially after the real sense of 'community' that I felt characterised the CyberMummy conference.
Follow your heart Jay, and do what you need to do. But I will miss your online blogging presence a lot (had best get myself of Twitter much more often to keep up with you!) x
You rock lady, you are so right. I don't get close enough to the cyber shit to let it affect me. It did at first, but now it's not important enough. Enjoy life and do what you can or want in the cyber world:)
Don’t let them grind you down. You have a great blog and an immense Twitter presence, rivalling that of Stephen Fry or Justin Bieber.
Just think : Dey see me rollin’. Dey hatin’.
Excuse me. I’m marginally drunk on pear cider.
B
Jay. You are amazing. You are funny, beautiful, rude, crude, kind and full of passion.
You have been the powerhouse behind our Blogladesh campaign and we wouldn't have come this far without you.
For every one vindictive blogger out there you have made at least ten true friends. Hold that thought close and don't get pulled down by their playground tactics.
xx
Don't you dare let the f****ers get you down! I read your blog and follow you on Twitter because I like you EXACTLY the way you are. Don't go changin'!!!!
Congratulations! You've met a right of passage….everyone has (including me, just this week) a hissy fit about the blogging community…..but you've hit the nail on the head…..write what you like and if people don't like it then they can move on. Don't get wrapped up in the hierarchy, yes it does exist, but it's easy enough to ignore…..just unfollow and move one. There are so many wonderful bloggers out there.
What supermum said about bastards and grinding… 'strue!
I'm new to the blogging scene, I'm new to twitter – I only started it all in April and you stand out to me as one of the most genuine lovely people I have the pleasure of following.
You are a one off, special and I am in awe of you.
Stand up and be counted as yourself – this is your space and also a space where you help others to say things they can't say in their own spaces – awesome.
There is such good out there too, Tara's Gallery is all about joining together to share, Heather's SPC has made me squee with excitement both times I have been in it, Josie's writing workshop is so encouraging, your photography blog is making me guilty that I never take the camera off auto.. The tip of the iceberg
We join together to evolve and learn and share – don't stop.
Who else is going to shout COCK first thing in the morning, so loudly I often wonder if my children can hear it
Do not ever feel you have to be measured or dance to someone else's tune because you don't. Not here….
Love you Lady, you are a star – shine.
Really? I am surprised, I thought it would take more than that to shake you. I hope this isn't really it, as you say it is your own space and no one else's business. x
*hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling like this, it sucks sometimes, putting yourself out there on the internet for the wankers out there. You are better than them, you are awesome.
I hope you don't stop blogging, but if you do, then at least stay on twitter so we can keep in touch!
MWAH xx
Re-posting my comment!
Don't let them grind you down. You have a great blog, you're an amazing photographer, and you have an immense Twitter presence, rivalling that of Stephen Fry or Justin Bieber.
Just think: Dey see me rollin' … dey hatin'
That above phrase is normally accompanied by a photo of someone not caring that they're getting grief, but I can't really recreate that here.
Sorry for the bizarre comment, I'm slightly squiffy on Bulmer's.
Keep your chin up!
*massive hugs* Some people are fucking c*nts. Your blog is fantastic, I for one adore it and there's evidently lots more who feel the same. Fuck them and their fucking jealousy. You kick bum.
Love you to pieces and really hope you don't stop blogging, whose posts am I going to leave comments with awful language on if you do?!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love you, love your blog. You know that, lovely lady.
No need really for me to say anything more. You'll do what's right for you.
Oh, and COCK!
(with a bit of bacon on the side)
Even if you do decide to quit, I'll still feel like this about you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-mw1HGJjdA
RAWR! x
Hey, you can't go! I really like you! You're cool. No idea who or what the bullies are… but well… fuck em.
I think whatever has happened, has hurt you more because it has been done to a friend(s). I'm sure they value your support, but would be more hurt to see you turn your back on blogging. Have a breather, repeat your old and new mantras and stick two fingers up to bullies, in whatever guise they appear.
Awwww, so sorry to read this. Just had a local blogger in my area email me and say she met you at Blogher and how fab she thought you were. Ignore the haters and keep on blogging. Hugs. x
I won't rant about all the obvious things..I don't know whats happened to upset you but i'll say this….bullying bloggers are clearly very unhappy unfulfilled people that cling to their blog and its status for dear life…It is everything to them without it they have to address the fact that other aspects of their lives are lacking.
You Jay are a seriously talented woman, you have a warm, friendly and humorous way. 2 beautiful children a hubby who does nice things just to make you happy, who you drink cocktails with of an evening and laugh together. I've never met you and i know this stuff cos i pours from you in your words from your heart.
Write, write, write, write more.
MWAH. X
I can't really add anything either after all these lovely comments. Apart from I hope they show how much people do love to read your blog, and your twitter. I personally think some of you twitter comments keep me going some days.
You have done a lot with all the different things that you do, and I would miss reading them. I do read am a bit rubbish at commenting have been even more so off late, but I read. But you know what it is your life and your space, if you don't want to blog anymore then all of us would support whatever decision you make.
Big hugs xxxx
As a new blogger on the block yours was one of the blogs which inspired me to write. You think I'm shitting you then, you're wrong. You're one of THE best writers in this field, and your honesty and truthfulness is a breath of fresh air.
More people out there love you and what you have to say than don't. Reconsider.
HUN x
Really? I'm so glad these people haven't found me yet. I hope you take a break and then come back, because really no one should drive you away if you like writing. And I like you. Oh yes, I do.
Jay, so sorry you are feeling so sad and fed up with blogging. You light up the internets and give so much of yourself – I feel happier just knowing you. Rest assured, more of us love you than want to hurt you. You're talented, sexy, sassy, filthy, obsessed with cock and bacon and know the value of a good old Abe Lincoln. And seriously, the good shines out of you. Sending love your way. xxx
Come on people. There is only a hierarchy here if we allow people to build one. Who says that one blog is better than another? It is all rubbish.
We all have to remember what brought us to this space in the first place and the friendliness and positivity that allowed our blogs to grow and flourish.
My advice is to be yourself. Don't get drawn in to petty behavior of others. Remember that you are not 8 years old and that you don't have to feel like you did when you were 8 years old.
Move forwards – not backwards and remember (as they say on Mystery Hunters….) That things are not always what they seem.
Peace.
Hey you. Don't you dare let the buggers get you down. Look up there and see all those comments from people who think you have something more than a little special? You have. It doesn't matter what a handful of dictatorial idiots say/think/do, you get that in any walk of life and everyone who matters sees through people like that….look through and beyond them and see all of us with our arms open wide smiling right back atcha and feel the love. xxx
Hi you probably don't know me and I have only been following you for about a week due to other Twitter friends bigging you up and saying what a star you are! I am sorry you have had some shit to deal with I cannot believe that goes on. I have seen how much effort you have put in to #blogladesh this week you have been brilliant!
Can I just give you a gentle ((( hug )))
You have my email. Use it whenever you want, mate x
Awww hun. Who'se done what now. Honestly, the politics around here! As the others have said, you've made true friends too – that was obvious at Cybermummy. So many people love you. Hold on to them
Hun, you were the one who helped me start my (much neglected) blog. You helped me to start it for ME, because you understood what I was going through and you thought it might help. Because writing yours had helped you. And it did (and does, when I have the guts to write it) help so so much.
I am so sad that you are feeling like this, that some small minded individual(s) have made you feel like this.
I love reading your blog, because it is you. And your 'best' (thats the wrong word but I cant think of the right one right now (brain fuddled, should probably blog about it)) posts are the ones where you are open and honest and, well, just you.
And Im sad that youve come to this point because I know what it means to you and why you started it, and how it has helped you in the past. It is so wrong that people have made you feel like this about it.
I really hope you can carry on. Firstly, and selfishly, I want to be able to carry on reading it, along with so many other people. But secondly, and more importantly, I hope that you can carry on with it for you and for the reasons that you started it.
I hope that these people, or persons, dont take this away from you. But I also understand that if it is getting to you this much then that defeats the purpose of it. Do what you need to do, what is going to be best for you. But either way you should keep writing if it still helps. I hope it will be here, but if not write for you and share it if you need, in what ever way, with the people that you know love you for who you are. Because there are lots of us!
Youre a very very special lady, in blogland on Twitter and to those of us privileged to know you in person. And dont ever ever let anyone tell you otherwise xxxxxx
Hey, you can't give up blogging, I just found your blog! This is YOUR space! Even if only 2 people read it, Its YOUR space!! Fuck em all and just write what you want to write!!!
FFS, if you give in are you not giving in to the bullies. I have learnt this week that the blogging community is not a nice place but then I guess neither is the real world. DON'T GIVE UP or THEY WILL HAVE WON and we don't want their heads to get any bigger now do we.
OK not sure what has happened in particular other than the usual bollocks as I was puking my guts up most of yesterday (couldn't even hold down bacon!) but whatever it is you know you can rise above it. You are a truly awesome inspirational blogger, you have an EXCEPTIONAL blog and you are simply one of the nicest bloggers I've met and very, very talented. Take a break if you need one but don't give up, please. The stuff you did for Blogladesh last week was awesome. Lots of love Lxxx
Who are these ‘blogging hierarchy? They sound scary! I’m very new to all this and maybe naive but I suppose I am a bit of a idealist. I do think that blogging should be about freedom to write what you want. Look how much support you have and remember how you felt as a newbie. Im not sure what has happened but please don’t give up.
Ive only just started reading your blog and I love it. I'll be so sorry if you go.
( xx
Your tweets always make me smile – who else is going to shout COCK at everyone and if you go who'll be the president of the bacon fan club lol
Don't Go x
I'm appalled that this has now gotten to you. You are delightful and fresh and I adore your honesty and passion. Please don't call it a day. Do it for you. Fuck the rest of 'em and they bloody fucking well know who the fuck they are. And I don't swear unless I am fucking fucked off so you need to understand how fucking pissed off I am right now at the fuckhead who has made you feel so fucking shite! I think we all need to take a stand! Fuck off shithead. I'm exhausted now…I will expect you to rally mind you…I want you back…no ifs, and, or, butts! So there!
Sorry, Karin, but this really made me laugh
WHAT SHE SAID! WITH KNOBS ON!!!
What they all said really … having been on the receiving end of some of what you describe I know it’s Shit. But as many people have said, don’t let anyone tell you how you should behave.
Oh, and I’m going to sort out that appointment with the queen for you.
And just so you know Barry and sanchez pass on their regards.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry someone/something has driven you to this point. All I can say is trust your instinct, if it tells you to step out then that's what you should do. Do whatever makes you feel good inside. I for one certainly want you to choose to step back in at some point for purely selfish reasons, you make me laugh, you make me smile with your tweets! I love hearing about the Smalls and bacon and COCK!! I might not join in with you much but I love listening so I do hope you stick around! When I first started tweeting, I was lucky enough to come across you and you made me want to join in and stick around myself.
Whether you know it or not, there's a lot of love for you (see all of the above!) so take the hugs and do what makes you happy. xx
Oh Jay, please don't go.
I've read your blog since that lovebomb some time ago, and it was really, really helping me through some hard times.
If you feel that you have to go – I won't stop you. After all it's about you, and you must be happy with blogging and stuff. But I will miss you a lot, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
So please, please, think about it.
Love, Inge
Ps: sorry for my bad english sometimes. I'm from the Netherlands, you see (yeah, you even have fans here=)), so my english writing is not very good, though it's easy for me to read it.
Oh lovely tell them to fuck right off! I'm so sorry anyone could get to you like this, you are one of the most genuine, kind people I've met on the web. But I can understand how you feel at the moment totally – just know some of us love ya! ((HUGS)) You know where I am if you need a chat xx