Whilst zipping my way around NYC and BlogHer ’10 earlier this year, I was lucky enough to stumble upon an AWESOME company by the name of Eden Fantasys. They were sponsoring one of the sessions I went to, and at the end gave us swag bags with all manner of awesome inside. Then I found out at the end of BlogHer, they were having a Dildo Decorating Party.
Words failed me.
All I knew was, I had to go. End of story. I didn’t know what to expect, had no idea what we would be doing (though I had some obvious ideas) but what the hell – I needed to be there.
So I grabbed the rest of the awesome group of people I was hanging around with and made a dash to a hotel over the road to where we were staying, zoomed up a billion floors in a very tiny lift – and literally fell into an actual Dildo Decorating Party. There were dildos everywhere. Along with chocolate penis’ (penii? Ah let’s go with cock – much more familiar), boobs and nipples.
And in the centre of the room – a table, laden with every art and craft supply you could possibly think of. Paintbrushes, paints, glue, glitter, pens, pipe cleaners, fake eyes, feathers, pompoms, felts, flowers OMG EVERYTHING. You basically chose your dildo, and decorated the hell out of it.
And behold – Dildo Bob was born.
Since Dildo Bob was at a party, it was only inevitable he was going to make some friends. Thanks to Sian and Twanna for creating Horace and Si-moan (for some reason, Dildo Bob took a shine to Horace. Which is creepy because I’m pretty sure Horace was covered in warts. No offence, dude). Here, they share a questionable Martini on the creation day.
If I’m honest, I’m still not entirely sure what I put in my glass, whether I finished drinking it, or what happened to it, but still.
Since his inception, he’s followed me around little bit, mostly appearing to be swaying slightly, giving me a one handed wave. I would say he was giving me the finger, but obviously, that’s a little unfair since he would do much more than that.
Sadly, I have no idea where one of his pompom hands is now; I suspect rolling around like a dust sex bunny on a hotel floor in New York. In fact, he’s had to have some serious rubber surgery in the short time he has spent here in my home.
However, with some double-sided sticky-tape and a shit load of determination/stubborness/sheer weirdness, he has been repaired. In fact, he’s repaired, and he seems to be quite content. A little TOO content at times, but that’s ok. He kind of has to be, since D stuffs him in the utility room every time the in-laws come round.
Many MANY thanks to the awesome Eden Fantasys team for hosting an awesome party and helping me create my new-found friend! Also, as a result of winning a competition with them, I have some goodies to give away very soon. Until then, Dildo Bob says peace out, yo.
You have to get my wife one of these !!…. made me laugh alot.. thanks honey x
LOL Maybe we need to have a mass Dildo Decorating party?
AWESOME.
xx
LMAO!
So funny. I love it. xx
Hee hee thanks!
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PSML!! That is genius
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Wonderful – not sure how I missed that when I was in NYC! Yay now I have a reason to go back! Dildo Bob is ace xx
LOL Well it was part of BlogHer '10, but frankly, you should have a Dildo Decorating Party anyway. Do it!!! And then blog it ;oD
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That's hilarious. That would make a great hen party activity. So funny. Cheers Bob
That's such a good idea!!! Hmm…wonder if Dildo Bob and I could go into business…
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Oh God. How hilarious. And I very surprised to see Liz hasn't commented before me!
LOL I'm sure it's only a matter of time (or perhaps she's off busy thinking about her own Dildo Bob?)
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You are quite welcome! We enjoyed having you at our party! If you attend BlogHer '11, you'll have to bring Dildo Bob along for a reunion!
You have NO IDEA how excited Dildo Bob and I would be about that!!!!! YEAYYY!!!
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I love you! Frickin hilarious! I can now say I know a cock decorator…
THAT NEEDS TO BE MY NEW JOB. That's awesome.
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This is absolutely hilarious, and SO you! xx
Oh my, that is hilarious. I honestly don't know if I can take much more of what my eyes have been privvy to on this day. Hold me please!
You know, you need Dildo Bob to hold you. Or maybe you could hold him? I suspect he quite likes to be held.
xx
I am just sitting here with tears of laughter rolling down my face! Thanks for making my day!
Seriously I encountered a bit of a problem with Horace the other day. ModelGirl spotted him and said.. "Ooohhh is that a new candle mum?"
me…… "erm yes babe.."
ModelGirl "Can I have it in my room?"
me "erm, I think I just heard the front door."
phew.
Very, very funny! Could have been a lot worse (or maybe not, if you would have preferred) could have been a 'fetish' party. I once ended up 'falling across' one of those while out in the midst of this eer country with a friend of mine. I remember a whole group of enthusiasts wearing 'not a lot' and some crouched down on hands and knees being towed behind on dog leads – or a chain of them! Spanking competitions on the stage and gadgets that would 'literally' make your eyes water (one was similar only in looks to a cheese grater).I had several 'recruiting masters' and their 'doms' try and tempt me into their circle – was interesting, but I took a rain cheq'. I thought my eyes were very much open till then, lol
So ….. dildo decorating was as welcoming a reception you could have hoped for from a fantasy promoter and glad you had a great time – Bob's birth has obviously brought many happy, lasting memories
) I'm not sure I want to ask how he came to be with you on your person, before you got there – but you bought him there, right ;o)
Hope to see Bob's many of Bob's apperances
)))
usually, i buy my craft supplies on the internet because of the cheaper price and countless options :-;
Haha so now we know!! It could only happen in America