wtf - mocha beanie mummy

I love you twitter. But seriously. Wtf?

February 9, 2012 By mocha beanie mummy 4 Comments

Every so often I go through periods on twitter where I have to step away. Be it yet another mash-up, or some other shit kicking off, or yet another meltdown impending and I/they should most likely take it off-line. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT like to be at the centre of twitter shit; for as long as I can remember I’ve always hoped to GOD it wasn’t anything to do with me. I hate confrontation and will only rise to it if really pushed.

You know who you are. I haven’t forgotten what you said.

I have my moments; we all do. Bit maudlin, but try and bounce back. I try to be nice; if I wouldn’t say it to your face, I wouldn’t say it on twitter. Anyone who’s spent 30 seconds with me will know that. Honesty beats my backside with a paddle – I wish I could be a better at bullshitting.

So why, someone please tell me, do people behave like utter arse holes? Why do people think it’s ok to be spectacularly rude to others they have never EVER met? I have one or two people who follow me, who insist on answering almost all of my “open” tweets with a shitty and very unfunny answer. Most often, never a good word to say. So if my tweets offend you, why do you follow? If my tweets are “TMI”, why do you read them? Have you nothing better to do?

There are very few people on twitter who I claim to KNOW. Sure I know people on there, by face, name, avatar…maybe certain mannerisms, tweet behaviours, blog posts, whatever. But there’s only a tiny handful whom I KNOW, having spent time with them OUTSIDE of twitter. So forgive me if I get fucked off when people are all up in my face like they “KNOW” me, and feel like they can say whatever they like, offensive or not. (Usually offensive, hey ho.) If you think you’re being funny by being a smart ass, may I suggest you take 5 seconds to rethink your tweet, and the take a further 5 minutes to think whether I would appreciate that tweet?

As long as I’m having a twitter stint, whether it’s 2 minutes or 2 hours, I talk to as many people as I can. I’ll return conversation if I can. I’ll start up conversation if I can. You sensing the theme yet? Yes, that’s right, I hate to break it to you but I’m only human. And I’m not a very good one, either. I may only be following blah blah (I don’t know, you go check) but I’m pretty sure that it’s not nearly as many who are following me. So do some maths. If I’m conversing with people I follow, and then people whom I don’t follow also talk to me, it’s going to get busy, right? And as I’m only human (we established this earlier, remember?) it’s more than likely I’ll fall over at some point, and pretty much fail.

I’ve been on twitter long enough to have had more than enough stick from people I do not know and also do not know me. I’ve been on twitter long enough to justify being very reserved with people who make me a teeny bit twitchy. I’ve also been on twitter long enough to know that I am well within my rights to unfollow someone if I want to, just as people can unfollow me any time they like. It really, genuinely, truly does not bother me. It’s ok. It’s not the end of the world.

Anyhoo, I do love twitter, I’ve made some great friends. I’ve got a whole ton of support from people when times have been spectacularly shit. I have built up my business with the biggest supporting network being twitter. I can’t thank you enough for this. But, you know, just try not to be too weird with me, ok? Remember I might come across as crazy (us crazies call it “eccentric”, I’ll have you know) but I’m still a human, who takes stuff on board.

And if you wouldn’t say shit to my face, then don’t say it to my twitter profile. Because for me, it’s not just a twitter profile.

*smooches*

Filed Under: asshats, twitter, wtf

Procrastination. I will be coming back to this post for future reference.

February 6, 2012 By mocha beanie mummy 2 Comments

Nyan Cat.

Nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya,
nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya.

Ok just click here and tell me what your record was. And remember, Nyan Cat haz a flavor. I’ve only managed 23 seconds so far, but I am supposed to be working, remember.

*cough*

And then Nyan Cat has a music video too. Trust me on this one.

And THEN, when your eyeballs have all but bled out of their sockets, give them a break by asking yourself this. Where’s the pixel?

0.9 seconds. Just saying.

Thank you, twitter, for providing some epic time wasting websites. If I forget to collect my children from school, I’m obviously blaming you.

#JustSayin’.

Filed Under: AWESOMENESS, twitter, wtf

This Week.

February 3, 2012 By mocha beanie mummy 2 Comments

He lives!

We are now both suffering from cabin fever, and I’m pretty convinced he’s sick of me now. That’s ok, because Pox Boy is going back to school on Monday, dammit.

It’s been a bloody long week.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

I WON.

And it turns out I didn’t have to pay anyone. You can read more on Jay Mountford Photography and on Ice the Cake. OMFG! And thank you.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

I’ve been asked to go back and perform with an orchestra. I quit professionally a few years ago. My last ever concert was very nearly a year ago, I haven’t picked up my cello since then.

I want to play. I actually want to play. Unfortunately, the thought TERRIFIES me. Maybe I’ll do some of the rehearsals. Play it safe, and all that.

Dammit.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

In the car

Noah: Mommy can I have a drink please?

Me: Yes, would you like some juice when we get back? I don’t have anything on me now.

N: Ok, yes please.

Isaac: Can I have a drink please Mommy?

MBM: Yes, when we get back Isaac. What would you like?

I: Ummm…wine please.

MBM: …would you like red or white?

I: Ummm…white wine, please.

MBM: …okaaaayyyy…

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

I was so desperate to get into a bottle of wine last night, I managed to shatter the cork, flip the corkscrew off my hand and give myself a massive blood blister on my thumb.

I’m embarrassed. I may have to revert to screw top bottles. And ask Isaac for help.

~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~≈~

I know we’re over these now, but this one still made me laugh.

Filed Under: actual happy times, Awards, AWESOMENESS, Conversations, illness, Isaac, Musician, neurosis, photography, photos, wtf

So, we just sit around talking shit, in detail.

February 1, 2012 By mocha beanie mummy 1 Comment

Isaac sits down on the potty and goes quiet.

MBM: are you doing a poo, Isaac?
Isaac: No.
MBM: You have the same poo face as Noah. Give it up, I know you’re doing a poo.
Noah: I know he’s doing a poo, I can smell it.
I: Ok, I doing a poo.
MBM: Have you finished Isaac?
I: No
N I can smell it Isaac; it smells like you’ve finished.
I Ow!
N Does it hurt Isaac? Is your poo hurting you?
I Yes.
N Is it spiky, Isaac?
I Yes, it’s spiky.
MBM: OK NOAH, I think you can leave Isaac and his poo alone now…

At least it’s not taboo, eh?

Filed Under: Conversations, Isaac, Noah, pooping, wtf

Pox Watch Day 3 – Current Observations and Birthday Thoughts

January 30, 2012 By mocha beanie mummy 2 Comments

1. The spots. Will appear. Everywhere. And anywhere. If you can think of a place, they’re there. Oh, they are THERE.

2. I do not do well waking up every 1-2 hours.

3. Piriton does NOT make Isaac fall asleep.

4. Isaac let me eat my birthday breakfast of a plate of bacon. Whilst he may be ill, he is still considerate.

5. We have taught him well.

6. The Gruffalo, on repeat, somehow doesn’t get old.

7. Peppa Pig, on repeat, becomes tedious.

8. It’s amazing how you discover exactly how your body is able to mould itself into the shape of a sofa as your kid makes themselves comfy on your lap.

9. Snuggling with Isaac on a real sofa with a Graze.com box is lovely. Until he eats all your vanilla infused cherries.

10. It’s really hard to remain patient, when shit loads of lovely people suggest things to make your kiddo feel better and you’ve pretty much tried them all already. And nothing is working.

11. People are incredibly helpful.

12. It’s really ok to have some of the birthday Prosecco for your lunch, under the circumstances.

13. Somethings just do not distract from the pain. Including Lego. This makes me really sad.

14. What I think is “humour” can be really misunderstood by people who don’t really know me.

15. I have a darker sense of humour than I thought. Especially on minimal sleep and with poorly sick child.

16. It occurs to me I’m still waiting for the panic of turning 30 to settle in. 3 years ago.

17. Trying not to lose your rag when your kid is wailing for help, and you keep telling them you are doing everything you can and they just need to calm down and listen, but they keep wailing anyway, is REALLY hard. Frustration is a bitch.

18. It’s amazing how some “pyjama days” aren’t as good as you might like, and especially when all you want to do is throw yourself in the shower. *scratches*

19. I hate feeling guilty for wanting to be selfish for just 5 minutes. Just because the very poorly child with a rash the size of Africa covering his groin area, and yelled and cried all the time I was opening my presents. And yet is now sat quite happily on the sofa watching Octonauts.

20. Birthdays, Chicken Pox and children. You just can’t predict them.