We still don’t have a placement for them in September.
Actually, we still don’t have a placement for Noah, because I forget that Isaac hasn’t actually started school yet, in the eyes of Local Education Authorities.
This is all a bit weird.
Especially as it feels like a) I’m taking Isaac out of school, to put him back in nursery, to play all day, and b) I’m not really giving 2 shits about Noah and his education and whether he’ll have a placement come September.
The irony is, neither of those statements are true. That’s what it feels like, but neither are true. Not a day passes by when I think about how much I still want Isaac pushed, given the skills he has developed so far. And yet, on the contrary, I keep saying to myself “he’s just a kid! Kids play! It’s what they DO.” But when you have a kid so willing to learn, so eager to do stuff (“Mommy, can I do my letters? I want to read with Noah. Mommy can we do some counting? I LIKE counting! Mommy let’s do colours. Mommy read this story again!”) is it not ok to feel the need to stay on top of this? Is it not ok to want to maintain this level of enthusiasm, even stay one step ahead at all costs, to nurture and nourish?
Can a nursery honestly say they will do that for me while he is out of my care?
And as for Noah. Sweet Jesus I can’t even begin. Not a day, A DAY, passes by, when I don’t fret about what will happen with him in September. We have had nothing back from the numerous local schools we have applied for, and though we’re not in a position to do so, I actually find myself being fussy about where to send him. Can you blame me? He’s had the highest education possible from the day he set foot on any school premises. He’s learned way more than I could ever teach him, and every day he is a sponge soaking up a ridiculous amount of information. Which he retains and tests us with several weeks later (y’know, just when we thought he’d perhaps forgotten about it).
I don’t proclaim to have a “special” child. I don’t say he’s some kind of savant, or exceptionally gifted, because I honestly have no basis for comparison. He does, however, blow my mind with the things he says and does, and often feel people need or want to spend more time with him to realise where he’s coming from (because it’s not usually where you expect). I do, however, think he is alarmingly bright, and very switched on. And it’s these things (no matter how frigging annoying they are) which I worry will be lost when he won’t have the “intensive” teaching he currently has.
Will I be that parent who jumps on them with a ton of educational stuff the minute they come home from school? Unlikely. We’re all tired when we get through the door at present, and I know they’ve worked their asses off at school. Could it be different when they’re at a less intensive school? Quite possibly. Will I be able to keep it up? I honestly don’t know.
As if all his wasn’t enough, I find myself stressing about how to make him understand that soon, he’ll be having a long break from school, and will then be going to a different school, away from the friends he’s made. Will he care? Is he at that stage to care enough about losing old friends? Most would say “no, and he’ll move on just fine.” Well yes, he will move on, because he has to move on. But I think he will miss his friends. I don’t think he has a problem making new friends, but the irony is that I’m more concerned with how the other kids in his new school will react to him.
Honestly, and probably very selfishly, I’m not looking forward to the prospect of “when will I see my friends again, Mommy?”
Because if that happens, that’s gonna really suck.