The Day I Realised Why I Loathe(d) My Blog

Everyone’s harping on about blogs at the minute. I mean, geeze you can’t go through 5 minutes of Twitter or Farcebook or Google+ (yes, I use G+, stop yer bloody bitching) without seeing “READ MY POST! NEW POST! ZOMG YOU HAVE TO READ MY POST!” And even worse, there’s more and more of that same old “if you want to blog, you should do it like this” bullshit.

And it IS bullshit.

And what’s even FUNNIER, are the “I’m not going to tell you how to run your blog, it’s all about you, but if you want to be you, you should do it like this” posts. Omfg they make me want to claw my eyes out. And the reason they make me want to claw my eyes out, is because for people like myself who are in an eternal search to Find Out Who I Am, is it goes completely against the grain.

Against MY grain.

Strangely, I’ve had a few members of the blogging community write posts about me and my *ahem* ”style” over the years, slating who I am and what I do. These days, I don’t give so much of a shit what people think. But back then I was pissed off. Who the fuck were they to tell me who I should be and what I should do? For the most part, I raged quietly (and I confess I’m STILL RAGING over one of the posts, despite the fact that it was SO LONG AGO). but the thing is, these people who have nominated themselves as Hitler and feel the need to dictate how or who others should be – what the fuck? What the actual fuck? I wonder if they have any clue whatsoever about the very concept that the whole world is made up of an interesting mix of people? Some are blander than paint drying. Others are so colourful there isn’t a strong enough pair of sunglasses in the world to protect your eyeballs.

And then there’s the whole “tone it down because LORD KNOWS what will happen should anyone in The Professional World find out what you do Behind The Scenes; NEVER LET YOUR WORLDS COLLIDE!!!!!!!!11!!!!1!!!!!!1!!!1!11!1!1!!!!

Seriously, there isn’t an episode of Jeremy Kyle which could match some of this drama.

I discovered I’d lost my mojo, as a result of listening far too much to other people’s bullshit. And it really was bullshit, in it’s finest form.

And I’ve realised that recently, especially since I’ve been on this bloody journey of trying to find out Who I Am in the photography industry. The whole epic crap of “you can’t say this” and “your ass will explode if you say that” and OMFG JUST SHUT UP AND PISS OFF.

It’s my own damn fault. I don’t write to be a sensationalist. I don’t write for drama. I don’t write for stats (and I swear to god if people ask me about my Silent Sunday stats I will hunt them down and shoot them because not only do I not know, I also do not give a shit). But anyway, I still feared what others were saying. Who cares? Why should I care? Fact is, not everyone will like me (I’m always amazed ANYONE likes me to be honest), and there’s no way I’ll please everyone. I don’t WANT to please everyone. And on discovering this in photography over the last few months, I clapped my hand to my head (quite literally) when I realised the very same thing over here. Today. This afternoon.

I’m not saying I’ll be back in full force, or some crap like that. However, I know I’ll hopefully stop second-guessing myself like I have been doing. It sucks, I hate doing it, and I don’t want to do it any more. As I used to say when I first started spewing out the shit inside my head, this is my space, and no, I don’t care if you don’t like it.

Go read some other tardy crap on the internets. There’s plenty of it out there for you, if that’s what floats your boat.

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  1. Deborabora says:

    Here here. Found myself doing the same recently, got really insecure about my blog & then I reminded myself why I started one in the first place. To help me process life as a parent & if what I write helps others then that's a bonus. So now I'm back in my mojo…I think/hope.

  2. Wow, you are ranty! But I like it. More people should be straight up enough to clear their headspace with a good rant when one is needed.

    I think you (and this post) are quite excellent!


  3. Here here. Repeat after me… fuck it. Xxx

  4. *stand up and applauds* That is all.

    So what are your Silent Sunday stats? ;-) *runs off cackling*

  5. Spot on. Over. x

  6. A bloody men.

  7. wrighttimesblog says:

    I'm quite new to doing blogs, but have done YouTube for nearly 2 years now, and its pretty much the same on there. My philosophy has always been to do what I like and what I want, and not take any notice of what other people / haters / wannabe blog / youtube Gods say. I do it for 'ME' because I want to. I'm not after glory. I do it because I enjoy it. So where I'm heading with this, SOD THEM ALL!! Take no notice of them. Do it for yourself. I hope this makes sense. Take care.

  8. I only read the first few bits of blogs. Then I see your heart. Someone, it may be me, saw what you did and pulled his own heart and went to Birmingham Opera for a drop in, drop out session. Music, Opera and film making.
    Never underestimate the influence you will have on other people.
    I would not have even thought about it , without you, my gay friend from school (who just told me) and the people who gave a damn, even though they never knew they were doing it.

  9. Here here!
    I think what I like MOST about the whole of this post (and there's a whole lot I like) but it's the tag Piss the piss off that's the icing on the cake. Talking of which…

    I have a BRILLIANT Silent Sunday for you tomorrow, I found it on search for wedding cake ideas today ….. say no more :)

  10. You go gurrrrrrl!

  11. Hear, bloody hear! I gave you a round of applause when I finished reading this post. I whole-heartedly agree.

  12. I absolutely love this post.

    I went on the blogger roundabout. The highs, the lows, the Hitler(s) etc… and funny thing is you come right back where you started…. realising it wasn't a journey worth going on. And when you come to the end, you haven't quite got your voice anymore as it got edited along the way…. Still trying HARD to find mine again, but it is damn hard.

    Love this post for a whole host of reasons.

    Anyway, well said THAT woman

    Glad to see you writing like what I remember from your good old days!


  13. You are kind of scary when you're cross, but that's OK I still keep coming back to read so I'm glad post rant you will carry on being you and even more so!

  14. I absolutely love this post. Thank you for that because tbh some of the "you should be doing this and not doing that posts" actually have been making me feel like I should just be giving up and taking the fun out of it – so thanks for giving me back my me.

  15. You are 100% right of course. However, in a way this another post about how we should blog. Your message is do what you want and pay no attention to other people (not a new idea) but you have also added, ironically, don't write about how to blog. On the other hand, it's your blog so you can be as be as contradictory as you like. I hope you feel better for the rant though.

    • mocha beanie mummy says:

      No, my message is “this is what I’m doing and I quite like it. Whether you want to follow suit is up to you.”

  16. Brilliant. You tell 'em!! I am very new to blogging, so haven't, so far, had any nasty things said and I hope I don't. Why are people so cruel? Ho hum. You do what you feel in your heart, sod the others!

  17. It's interesting, the whole blog world vs the real world and not wanting them to collide. For some unknown and frankly stupid reason I've felt like that for the last two years but just recently I've been thinking why??! This post has cemented that feeling. You rock, as always, telling it like it REALLY is.

  18. When I became a mum I made it my mission only to befriend other mums who swore and I have never looked back. Enjoying your blog lots.

  19. Ive been thinking the same recently. There seems to be a burst of new bloggers recently, and Ive noticed that they are being told how to blog. I've been thinking that I like their blogs anyway, so why are they being told to change what they are doing, it really winds me up and Im constantly biting my tongue. Us oldies found our way without being bossed around didnt we so why do certain people feel the need to become blog police, especially the ones who are bloody rude with it and their blogs are not even nearly as interesting as the ones they are bossing around. It baffles me.

  20. Yes, there are some self-appointed blogging/twitter regulators out there and there's one in particular who makes me breathe fire I get so annoyed. And I'm a fairly laid-back sort of person most of the time, so I understand a bit of where you're coming from. Just tell them to go away in your own inimitable style. xx

  21. Thank you Thank you Thank you! As a newbie it can be really overwhelming to read all the '10 ways to get a trillion people to read your blog' crap that you see every day. You do start to think, should I be doing this? am I good enough? So you've done us all a great service with this reminder that it's perfectly OK to say 'it's my blog and I'll do what I bloody well want with it'.

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